What If...

Since Molly has been born and we have moved, I feel like now, more than ever, my sense of fear, worry, and/or anxiety has at times, overtaken me.  I don't know if it is being in a new place and having another life I am responsible for, that I am more aware of them, or if it is Satan's way of warping my mind because he knows this is where he can get me psychologically at this time in my life.  Probably a little of everything.  I am constantly battling a mind game of "what if's," and that has inevitably, become my worst fear.  "What if" this happens, or "what if" that.  I hate the "what ifs!"  Not only what ifs, but fears in general.  Fear of not being close to family, fear of not knowing anyone, fear of not meeting anyone, fear of Molly not being around her friends (really my friends that have babies), and having little ones to play with, fear of something terrible happening to her, Matt, or myself; fears of someone coming into my house, what if she doesn't get enough milk/food, what if she doesn't take a long enough nap or get enough sleep, what if I don't teach her something important...the list goes on and on.  I know all of this sounds like par for the course once you have a kid, but I am convinced that I can choose to not live in fear or worry...or maybe just not to the extent that I do.  The question is: "Can I imagine myself not living in fear, presenting all of my requests to the Lord?"  Trust me, I try... I guess I still think I can dig down deep enough and with my Type A personality, find a quick fix.  Funny how God seems to give me a swift kick and softly whisper..."Trust me to take care of you."

It's easy to say I trust God when all things are going well and I feel taken care of, but "what if" one of those feared "what ifs" were to happen, would I still trust and think God is good?  Is my trust and love for Him conditional?  I hope not, but it terrifies me to think that sometimes it is.  I have to TRUST that my God WILL take care of me, should one of the "what ifs" were to happen.  

I know that God brought us to San Antonio for this season of life.  As I look and play with Molly during my day, I am reminded that this is one reason why we are here...and I am thankful.    I was reminded in scripture the other day that He has determined the times set for me and the exact places where I should live.  Surely, if He has determined this, he has not forgotten about me... and my fears.

Thank you to my bible study of Esther for allowing God's word to speak to me.  While Esther risked her life for the sake of saving her people, she faced her fear of dying, so others may live.  I pray I would have her courage of living for something greater.  That I would look at my fears and worries and deny their authority over me. 

That is what I will choose, and this is how I will strive to live.

I will be safe and not stumble.  When I lie down, I will not be afraid and my sleep will be sweet.  I will not fear of disaster or ruin that overtakes the wicked for YOU LORD are my confidence and will keep me safe.             Proverbs 3:24

Showering Sweet Baby Grayson

This past weekend, little miss and I made our way to Houston for Amanda's baby shower.  Baby Grayson will be making his debut in early February, so we needed to prepare a little for his arrival.  We are so excited for Amanda and Tigh and this new adventure they are about to experience.  There is no greater joy than being a mommy!

Thank you to Kelly, who did a fabulous job on the diaper cake!

Little stuffed animals for baby Gray.

And lots of sweet bedtime stories to read.

Look at those boots!  

Hostesses with the Mommy to be!

Happy Halloween

I am a little late in posting, but figured I should post some pictures from Molly's first Halloween.  We had a little Tinkerbell fairy playing around in the yard.  Mind you, she was the cutest Tinkerbell in the history of fairies!!!!  

Her little boyfriend, Luke, was Peter Pan.

Sweet Miss Molly

Today our little bitty is 7 months old.

Little miss you are full of personality.
You make all kinds of noises and sounds, and smile all the time!

You weigh exactly 16 pounds and are growing by the day.
You have 2 bottom teeth that you got at 5 1/2 months.  And boy do they hurt.

You are crawling (real crawling) and pulling up on everything.  Jumping in your bed is one of your favorite things...  Daddy already had to lower your crib to the lowest level so you won't fall out.
You are not the best sleeper or napper, but I am prayerful that will change!

You really like peaches and fruit, and thankfully I have not found one thing that you really won't eat.
However, you hate to have your face and hands cleaned after eating.

Bath time is your favorite!  You have to learn to sit down though, so you won't get hurt.

You love to play peek a boo, and have things brush against your face.
You love to look in the mirror and laugh at yourself.

You hate wearing socks...and find a way to yank them off every time they are on your feet.
You love to go on runs/walks in the jogging stroller.

You are my joy through the day.
You are beautiful my Molly Reese.

The Pumpkin Patch

Once upon a time...there was a little family who took a trip to the pumpkin patch.

Mommy and Daddy were so excited because this was Molly's first Halloween.

They took tons and tons of pictures, but Molly was too curious looking at the big, orange, round things, to smile for the camera.

 She wasn't sure what to think...

 But mommy and daddy had fun taking her.

                                        Happy Halloween!!!

Lately...

Much has happened over the past month, and sadly to say, I don't even know where to begin.  This has been a big month for Molly, and one that has stirred many emotions in me.  We have gone from crawling, to standing in our bed, to jumping in our bed, to pulling up on EVERYTHING around the house, to falling and bonking our head, to sick with ear infections, and to waking back up in the middle of the night.  Gone are the days where I can get things done around the house.  I am constantly by her side all of the time making sure her wobbly little legs don't give out as she bounces up and down.

We were on a roll about 3 weeks ago...Molly had become really good about putting herself to sleep in her crib after I laid her down for a nap.  She was also doing great sleeping through the night.  Needless to say...it was wonderful!

A couple weeks ago, Matt left for a business trip to Chicago, so Molly and I made the journey down to Houston to stay with my parents while he was gone.  While we were there, Molly somehow learned how to pull herself up in the crib, and now thinks it is the coolest thing ever.  It however, has not been the coolest thing ever for this momma.  Nap time has now become more of a challenge to get her to go to sleep.  With our new found discovery, this is all we want to do.  No more just laying her down and she puts herself to sleep. Oh no!  I wake up to her crying at 4am because she has been jumping and can't shimmy herself back down.  And now we are awake because well, we've been jumping.  All that to say, I have truly started to feel exhausted.  Exhausted from spending hours upon hours bouncing and singing, to try and get her to sleep...and stay asleep!  Am I doing something wrong to have her back up in the middle of the night?  Is she teething again?  Is she hungry?  I have no idea...

Regardless of her new found fun, and at times, my frustration,  I am choosing daily to be joyful.  The Lord has allowed me to be home with her in this season of our lives, and I am blessed beyond measure to be able to watch her grow.  All I know is this is happening faster than I could ever have imagined, but I absolutely love being a momma to my sweet Molly Reese!

Tri Weekend with Friends

This weekend, our very best friends from The Woodlands, came to visit us here in San Antonio.  It had been quite sometime since we had seen them, so our time together was super sweet.  Jen and I had fun dressing Molly up for a tutu photo shoot in the yard...and Luke waited patiently for the ladies to be finished playing dress up.

On Saturday, Matt and Adam competed in a triathlon in San Marcos, so Jen and I loaded up the babes, and headed up I-35 to watch!  It was a beautiful day to be outside, and Molly and Luke just loved it!

                    They even had matching tri onsies!

All in all, it was a wonderful weekend, spent with great friends.  We miss and love you Martins!

Welcome to Blogging World

Over the past several months, I have had the urge to start blogging!  My friend Jen came in town this weekend and totally convinced me to start one, so here we go.  I now have a place to post thoughts, pictures (since we have tons), and happenings in our sweet little life.  Thanks Jen for the nudge to become a blogger.